Case #417216.

Day one.

Case Manager Curtis Rollins.

Log Entry.

The OSIR has begun an investigation into the Phenomena.

And thus begins every episode of the Sigh Factor. Besides Curtis Rollins, be sure to read about Bored White Guy, Scientific White Guy, and Jumpy White Girl on the Other Investigators page.

There are several rules that you must adhere to in order to be an OSIR Case Manager; I'll list those here:

• Always speak slowly.
• Pronounce everything deliberately and exactly.
• Never interrupt.
• Try to make it sound as forced and faked as possible.
• IMPORTANT! You must, at all times, form sentences with an article, a verb, and one of the phrases listed in the OSIR Word & Phrase List. You must use these phrases frequently and repetitively.

• Neurological Monitors
• Baseline Readings
• Geothermal Environmental Scans
• Geomagnetic Environmental Scans
• Environmental Analysis
• Controlled environment
• Approximate
• Remote Biostat Monitoring
• Establish Full Surveilance
• Deploy
• HQ
• Case Objective
• Motion Sensors
• Hazmat
• Thermal Opticals
• Status!
• Report!
• Copy!
• Fall Back!
• Negative!
• Affirmative!

Some examples (Literally these were copied from the show, no joke):

• "High probablilty of a hoax."
• "Send the tape back to HQ after an environmental analysis."
• "Establish Full Surveilance."
• "Standard Biophysical Monitoring Units have been deployed on family members to facilitate real time transmissions of pertinent biostats."
• "Initial Geothermal and Geomagnetic Environmental Scans have turned up baseline readings."
• [Looking at a household thermostat] "Please note that someone has altered the environment, temperature differential at fifteen degrees."